redwinegoblin
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Why?I thought of a new game this morning, sorta like the random facts one but more investigative.
So, the theory is that someone asks a question and the next person answers it. If you know the actual answer that's great, but if you can make up a more creative theory then even better!
To start...
Why is my hair so curly this morning???
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Admin1
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Because you were out in the rain last night? 
Why did you start this topic?
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redwinegoblin
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Because I'm trying to distract myself from the fact that I'm about to go and do some exercise...
Why do chavs always talk REALLY LOUDLY even when they're stranding next to each other?
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Admin1
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Because they think they're 'ard
Why do I like pizza so much?
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redwinegoblin
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because it is one of the most perfect inventions in the history of the universe and all those who do not like it are fools! foooools!
Are there gonna be spiders in my wellies when I get them out the cupboard in a sec? and if so, why?!
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Admin1
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Yes, because it always seems to happen!
Why do some people think the queen does'nt fart?
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redwinegoblin
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Because I hear there's an ancient law that says if you try to blame a fart on the queen they're allowed to imprison you in the tower of London and throw away the key....
Why did I jsut try to open my back door with my car-keys instead of my house keys?!
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April_Rose
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Because you're a genius, and your mind is wasted on such mundane activities as opening doors...
Why am I in a bad mood today even though nothing has gone wrong?
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Admin1
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Because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed!
Why havent I got round to making myself some breakfast yet?
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April_Rose
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Because you are so hungry it's clouding your judgement!
Why is there never anything good on tv?
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redwinegoblin
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Becuase you've put it in back to front. Try turning it round.
Why did I leave the house looking for a bookcase but instead come back with a slightly sinister bunny in a pirate costume?
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April_Rose
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Because the bunny told you to.
Why does the wind keep on blowing?
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redwinegoblin
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I hear it's something to do with Methane being expelled from many thousands of cows.
Why am I so full of fury today?
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April_Rose
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Blame sunspots, it's always a handy excuse...
Why are all the people in power always either stupid or evil?
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redwinegoblin
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Because only stupid or evil people crave total control...scary.
Why are there spiders?
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April_Rose
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Because humans were stupid enough to evolve to our current state before all the spiders died out...
Why do we see pictures in flames?
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redwinegoblin
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because our minds are highly creative and like to see more than is actually there
Why do some people think you can't wear a short skirt and still own a perfectly functioning brain?
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April_Rose
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because their own brains are lacking blood due to its presence in another area, which may be caused by the short skirt...or maybe they're just lacking grey matter...
Why is my neck sore?
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redwinegoblin
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Probably not sunburn this time of year... maybe all the exertion from getting the writing forum up and running!!
Why do I keep thinking it's Wednesday?!
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April_Rose
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I do too! That's weird! Must be something in our body-clocks have mis-adjusted to the week...or yesterday was such a long day it felt like two days!
Why am i so indecisive?
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redwinegoblin
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Hmm, maybe it's because the world has so many possibliities it'd be a shame to choose just one....
Why are my fish looking at me like that?
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April_Rose
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Because they've forgotten who you are, but have a feeling you might be the one that feeds them...
Why do eggs taste better fried than any other way?
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redwinegoblin
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Because the addition of lard adds to that "heh heh, this is baaaaaad" feeling , which increases the joy of most lardy foods.
Why isn't it snowing here?! I want it to snow!
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April_Rose
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Because being near the Atlantic (on the north and west sides) I tend to get cold/wet/windy weather first (though of course warm/sunny weather somes from the south and east so I get that last, still, not complaining as I like snow) - it'll probably head your way tonight/tomorrow
Why do I have such strange dreams sometimes?
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redwinegoblin
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It's either the sign of a creative brain or too much red wine and cheese....or maybe both!!
Why do fingerless gloves just look cooler?
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April_Rose
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Because the fingers partly encased in cloth have a magical allure...
Why do mobile phones always drop in price just after I buy them?
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redwinegoblin
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Because they're watching you and like to mess with your head...creepy
Why do I have a headache today?
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April_Rose
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Too much red wine last night? Or not enough water?
Why do I get so many split ends?
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redwinegoblin
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Beacuse tiny gerbils bite the ends of your hair when you're not looking - either that or you need a softer hairbrush....
Why is there still an unopened Christmas present on my living room floor?
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April_Rose
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because you have the willpower of a saint that deserves the creation of a whole category of sainthood!
Why does my dog like to sleep on my feet?
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redwinegoblin
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Because animals need to be the centre of attention... if you can't move without looking at him, then job done!!!
Why do I have so much washing to do and no motivation to do it (seeing my parents this weekend...may take it home to mum?!!)
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April_Rose
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Because motivation is inversely proportional to the amount of work that needs to be done...it's an ancient greek theorem 
Why does wood not burn as hot as coal?
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redwinegoblin
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So as not to hurt the trees
Why so shopping trolleys always have a lean in one direction?
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April_Rose
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Because mischevious little pixies come out at night and bend the wheel on one side, ever so slightly.
Why do i still have my scarf on even though I'm inside and the fire is lit?
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redwinegoblin
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Probably for the same reason I'm typing with my gloves and boots on - it's really really cold!!
Why do I always forget to buy bin-bags?!
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April_Rose
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Because the rubbish puts subliminal messages into your mind while you sleep as it doesn't want to be discarded, all it wants is to be loved!
Why do are wisdom teeth so annoying?
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redwinegoblin
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I think it's because ignorance is bliss - so in which case wisdom must be pain.
Why are there so many hills?
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April_Rose
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| Quote: | | I think it's because ignorance is bliss - so in which case wisdom must be pain. |
Great answer! 
Because life is up and down, so the world is giving us a clue
Why do people buy such awful songs and get them to #1?
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redwinegoblin
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To support local radio stations playlists...if we didn't have those then where would the double-glazing salesmen advertise their companies...so as usual , it's best to blame the double glazing salesman.
Why did I write the letter P on a post it note and nothing else? (I'm genuinely baffled!)
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April_Rose
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Hmm, no idea, P might stand for....Presents? Peanut butter? (am trying to think of any kind of red wine that begins with a p) Plastered - as in, to get?
Why do I not know what I want for dinner?
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redwinegoblin
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Because the weekend is in front of you so full of exciting possibilities that choosing dinner seems mundane by comparison.
Why does my hair keep sliding out of its grips?
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April_Rose
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because it is too spirited to be controlled by such simple pieces of metal...
why haven't I gotten around to ringing my friend yet?
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redwinegoblin
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Because those evil gnomes have hidden the phone again. They often do that to my matching socks...
Why do the pigeons stare through the window? It's freaking me out....
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April_Rose
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They're trying to figure out the mystery of glass, why you can see through it but not fly through it, as when the day somes that they understand that they shall take over the world...
Why am I unable to resist a good bargain?
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redwinegoblin
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Because it'd be insane to pass up something that could come in so handy and risk paying a higher price for it later!
Why are there traffic jams?
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April_Rose
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because idiots in SUVs are taking their obese children to and from school when the the little brats woudl be better walking
Why do good things happen to bad people?
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redwinegoblin
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Because there's no great pattern to life (IMHO!) - a piano could fall on your head tomorrow or you might have the best day ever, it's all random...(uh oh, you can tell I've been on the wine!!)
Why do I always slip over on wooden decking?
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April_Rose
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*I know, such a wine question for me to ask you as well, I'm usually so opinionated about such things, but I get all dreamy and floaty on nights like this...*
Anyway, you slip on wooden decking because the trees are angry at being cut down and decide to take it out on you by making you lose your balance. It's subtle, but effective.
Why did I leave my wine glass on the mantlepiece when i sat back down?
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redwinegoblin
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I'm not certain on that one, I believe it's down to certain evil magnetic pulls - the same ones that start the phone ringing just after I've got all comfy on the sofa , or that hide the TV remote when I'm really tired and grouchy.
Why are clowns so scary?
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April_Rose
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because you don't know what kind of evil they have hidden behind that big red nose, and the menace of the facepaint is an evil of which we all know, but are afraid to speak...
Why, if it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, does the former seem easier so much of the time?
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redwinegoblin
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Because contrary to all the freakish adverts we see all day on TV advertising anti ageing face cream composed of ropey chemicals , facial lines are actually quite natural and give people a certain look of wisdom - the frowning muscles are just doing their bit to make us look wise...
Why does my cat sleep in my handbag when I've bought him all manner of nice bed cushions and little houses that clutter up my house?!
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April_Rose
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Because he is in fact the master of the universe and shall sleep in a place of his choosing, not yours, although I'm sure he appreciates the effort you;ve made, not that he'd deign to show it...
Why does time fly when you're having fun?
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redwinegoblin
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Because there's nothing worse than being bored. Time flies to make us appreciate the fun stuff more....
Why haven't I gone to bed yet even though I can't really type properly anymore?!
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April_Rose
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Because you knwo you're still typing better than I am (but my typing is always bad)
Why did the lights in my hosue just flicker?
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redwinegoblin
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Because the national grid likes to freak us out occasionally , think they do it deliberately
Why are baubles just reserved for Christmas?!
Right, it's just taken me 5 attempts to type baubles, I'm taking that as a sign to go to bed! G'night!
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April_Rose
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Goodnight!
Because the anti-bauble brigade is a branch of the freemasons and they're very powerful, exscept at christmas
Why do the best wines come from outside europe?
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Jenny*
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because all the good ones in Europe are drunk too fast for anyone to notice them
Why do i have to make sure the windows are shut before going to bed?
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redwinegoblin
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Because it's too darn cold to risk them being open all night!
Why can't I choose between tortellini and pizza for dinner?
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Admin1
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Because your crazy! Pizza all the way!
Why is the expression called 'its raining cats and dogs'?
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redwinegoblin
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Because in the olden days when everything was in black and white there were many shortages. Rain was one of the things that was at a premium so they substituted rain for cats and dogs.That was until the 70s, when it just rained platform shoes.
Why do people in vans always drive like they only ever had one lesson?!
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xkatiex
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they want people in the cars behind to ring up on the 'how is my driving' sticker, because it is actually their number and they want to make fun of you for phoning up
why is there never anything on tv when you have so many channels?
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redwinegoblin
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Because the BBC is an evil corporation that forces us to pay a licence fee for channels we never watch....grrrrrrrr
Why do weekends always go way too fast?
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April_Rose
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Because the passage of time is inversely proportional to which day of the week it is, by saturday and sunday it speeds up insanely and slows down for monday again. You shoudl really blame the person who decided that sunday and monday are the weekend, because if monday and tuesday were the weekend they'd seem to last forever as they now now when they're working days!
Why are there so many posts for me to look at when I reallt shoudl be getting stuff done?
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redwinegoblin
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Because the internet was acutally built to save people from doing any real work!
Why don't I have a big enough desk?
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April_Rose
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Because you are not appreciated enough and given the space you deserve
Why can I acknowledge my faults but not fix them?
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redwinegoblin
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because if you fixed them you'd be perfect and very difficult for all us imperfect souls to relate to!!!
Why do dogs hate me?
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April_Rose
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they smell cat on you?
Why did I drink too much on saturday night?
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redwinegoblin
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Beacuse it's Saturday night and therefore illegal to remain sober. you did it because you're a good , law abiding citizen!!!
Why can I never find a decent pair of trousers for work?
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April_Rose
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because designers of womens' trousers are all too often men, and they don't have a bloody clue what they're doing.
Why does january drag on so long?
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redwinegoblin
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To make us realise how little the rest pof the year sucks by comparison
Why don't some people like seagulls?
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April_Rose
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because they're afraid of the sea and all the awesome power it holds, and the gulls remind them of their own insignificance. That or the fact they go through rubbish sometimes.
Why is it that when oen channel finally has a good programme, anothe ralso has soemhting good on, and every now and then three channels do, which is ridiculous as I can only record one and watch one?
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redwinegoblin
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To make you give up and go on the internet instead!!
Why do people insist on wearing White musk style perfume when it makes me want to yak?!
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April_Rose
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because their brains are deficient in the section that deals with smells. Incidentally that region also deal with creativity ... (ok I made that up but it sounds like it might be true!)
why is country&western music so bad?
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redwinegoblin
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The quality of your music is inversely proportional to the amount of bourbon you drink....
Why do some people insist on using the phrase "I'm having it large" when it sounds so stupid?!
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April_Rose
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because they are actually so stupid that they are unable to comprehend the world from anyone's point of view but their own, and they're so stupid that they think it sounds good.
Why do some people hate vegetables?
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Jenny*
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because if it aint bad for ya . . . it aint right! (apparently)
why does it always rain if you mention what a nice day it is?
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redwinegoblin
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Specifically to ruin peoples hair, make up and any papers they're carrying....the rain gods have a sick sense of humour!!
Why do the trains suck so much and yet are so expensive??!
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April_Rose
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it's a plot by someone as obviously they don't really need to be, they had trains for nearly a century before they had cars so they really shoudl have made them cheap and perfect by now.
Why are some women so militantly anti-feminist?
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redwinegoblin
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Because they're idiots with no spine (ooh harsh but true!!)
Why is it suddenly so warm? (not that I'm complaining!!)
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April_Rose
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global warming is starting to kick in...
Why are the roads full of potholes?
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redwinegoblin
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To bounce the tight suspension in my car and make me feel sick!
Why is it so hard to not laugh sometimes?!
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Jenny*
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because you are filled with some gas that makes you uncontrollably hyper and wants to make you extra happy to make up for all the miserable gits in the world
why is it so hard to stop snacking once you've started?
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April_Rose
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because you have an addictve personality and snacks are better than smoking...or heroin  
Why is my typing so bad?
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Jenny*
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because you try to do it fast to save time but end up spending an hour going back to a mistake and then once you have finished, finding even more mistakes
why does writing ache hands?
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April_Rose
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because the invention of the computer keyboard was natural progression and hands have realised that and rebel any time they are asked to write!
Why is wool so warm and comfortable, yet so annoyingly itchy?
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redwinegoblin
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because otherwise the sheep would stand still, become waterlogged and fall over
Why does great responsiblity come with great power?
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April_Rose
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because Responsibility and Power married young and got settled into a rut together and now can't be bothered to separate, although they lead very seperate lives!
Why have I no resistance when it comes to wine?
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redwinegoblin
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I don't know - but if you find out the answer let me know because I have the same problem!!!
Why am I online rather than getting ready to go out?
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April_Rose
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because this site is so brilliant!
Why do geese fly in a V shape?
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redwinegoblin
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Ah, it's so true!
Geese- they tried a Q shape but kept flying into each other
Why do crabs walk sideways when thier eyes face straight ahead?!
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April_Rose
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because they're unable to tackle anything head on ( I know a few people like that)
Why do wires always get tangled up no matter how neatly they are put away?
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Jenny*
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because wires have little elves living inside them and like to annoy everyone by knoting up the wires after you have tried so hard to keep them neat - infact, they mess then up more the harder you try! . . . or so it seems . . .
why do some people hate everyone?
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redwinegoblin
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Because they really hate themselves and are trying to convince themselves that everyone else is the problem, rather than facing up to their own issues...
why is burger king so far away from my house?
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April_Rose
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Because the planning permission hasn't gone through yet - I'm sure they'd like to be closer!
Why are stupid people so adored in this age of celebrity (posh spice is a prime example)
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redwinegoblin
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Because stupid people fear intelilgence and prefer to revere those who aren't an intellectual threat...
Why is it almost impossible to find a silver necklace with a red pendant?
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April_Rose
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I saw a few really nice ones in a shop in Derry before christmas so maybe you're just looking in the wrong place! They were really nice too, I nearly got one for my self but I was trying to spend money on others as it was a shopping trip... it was in an "Evans" it's mostly clothes for larger size women but they have some great jewellery, don't know if there's one near you but I'd never been in one before and was impressed!
Why are two people in a relationship always grumpy at the same time?
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redwinegoblin
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Because they share so much space, there's some wierd psychic synchronicity going on ....
Why are mousse and moose named the same when they are nothing alike?
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April_Rose
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Because someone with a strange sense of humour is in charge of making up words (and no, it isn't me)
Why is truth sometimes stranger than fiction?
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redwinegoblin
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If you belive the philosophical angle that it's no longer possible to have an original thought it would follow that all fiction would stem from truth...which is strange in itself...
Why did that answer make no sense?!
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April_Rose
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because it was one of those questions that cannot be answered...
Why are my feet cold?
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