"Them"

Ok, I've kinda given up on my "Loose Ends" story/script and moved onto another.

Its titled "Them", and its the first part of the pilot script im working on. Feedback muchly appreciated Very Happy

ACT 1

1 EXT. _______ "HOUSE" - NIGHT

[VOICE-OVER: _____]
This it it. The begining of the end. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't
save her, and now they have her, we're all as good as dead.
Nothing will ever be the same, not after this. I wish I could go
back but I cant. Theres no stopping it. They've taken over.
(continues to end of scene)

[CLOSE UP OF ______ FACE] (Slow motion) Theres complete silence. The only sound is the voice of _______. He's covered in cuts and scrapes. You can see he's breathing heavily, although you cannot hear his breaths. His eyes are focused on something as he stares directly above him. A bright light can be seen in the reflection of his eyes, as can the fear inside of him. You can tell he's breathing heavier now. As the light becomes its brightest, ______ eyes squint. (Slow motion fades back to normal).
The sound of an explosion fades in, as does his heavy breathing. As the sound of the explosion dies down, several more can faintly be heared in the background. ______ slowly turns to his side, and gazes at something. A childs swing comes into view. It sways gently back and forth as the flames consume it. (Heavy breathing and voiceover fade out, as does the scene).

2 EXT. _______ HOUSE - MORNING

[TEXT ON SCREEN: 2 MONTHS BEFORE, APRIL 12TH]

We open to the same scene, only 2 months before. The fire, explosions and terror is gone, and the sun is high in the sky. A slight breeze gently shuffles the surrounding trees from side to side. We see the back of a man, swaying gently in the childs swing. The swing looks like it hasn't been used in a while, as a fresh patch of grass has formed below.
We close in on him, and his face comes into view. Its ______. His face is tightly scrunched up as he tries to hold back the tears that seem to full his eyes. Compared to his surroundings, he's the complete opposite. A few footsteps can be heared, growing louder as they approach.

CASEY
Didn't think I'd catch you here.

A young women comes into view, no older than 30. She stares at _____ for a few moments, with a look of concern washed over her face. She lifts her hand, placing it on _____ shoulder.

CASEY (cont'd)
Its your father isn't it?

He doesn't answer, just continues to stare at the ground.

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The parts with "__________" wil be replaced with the guys name, I just havent thought of one yet Razz

I've got more, but im changing a few details to it.

Interesting! I look forward to learning what you decide to name him! Sounds like a good story, I'm already intrigued!

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